Apr 06 2004
temper temper
I felt rather ashamed of myself yesterday. I told off some teenagers who were acting up while playing games on the computer. They were running back and forth hitting eachother on the back of the head. I know it’s not appropriate behavior and I know somebody has to do something and I’m not going to complain about how library staff members always end up babysitting because it doesn’t happen all that often, at least not over in Reference. It’s just the way I told them off. I sounded like a pitty old lady. “This is a library, you guys have to behave yourselves.” “I don’t care who started it, look at me when I talk to you” yada, yada, yada. They were truly troublesome kids. One of them I ended up having to ban because he was using someone elses card to get extra time on the computer and of course, lied about it when I asked him. But, they’re teenagers and that’s what teenagers do. I kept remembering the workshop I went to last fall with Patrick Jones, the guru of all Young Adult librarians. The way I behaved yesterday was exactly what he was trying to get us not to do. He made the point that getting teens into the library is hard enough without us telling them off they way they’re teachers and parents do all day long. I’m starting to question whether I have the right tempermant for being a Young Adult Librarian.
In the first place, Patrick Jones, when not out of his library touring around telling other people what to do, probably never handles that situation, being enshrined in a “teens only” room where they can play music and do whatever and it’s ok.
Secondly, it’s pretty hard to maintain your temper while you are refereeing a game of grab-ass.
Teens are so much fun when they are working cooperatively on a project, such as crochet, or acting, or making videos, or tutoring other kids in video games and webpages. One of my favorite things is having them do reader’s advisory for other teens.
When they are bored, they act up. Is it your fault they are bored? No, it isn’t. It’s ok to be authoritative when they are acting up, that’s part of being an adult. You balance it by saying hello to them every day, making small talk with them, learning their names, and when you have to get on to them and kick them out say “see you tomorrow” so they know that they crossed the line today, but they get another chance tomorrow.
Don’t get too wrapped up in what the gurus say. Every situation is different, and you have to find your own style and what works for you. Losing your cool once in awhile does not unfit you for YA Librarianship.
And I think these are probably the same kids I had a run in with a couple of weeks ago, whereby I was so frustrated I finally said “are your parents picking you up soon? You’ve been here a really long time today!”
Not my best moment, but it’s ok, there’s always another day.
Wow, Beth gave you a very mature and supportive comment. She seems like a true friend Carleen and I’m glad there are people like her to back you up in times like this. I’m going to give you a comment more appropriate for your immature big brother, “What the hell are you doing! These are the kinds of teachers and librarians we rebelled against together, that we disobeyed and resisted through all kinds of guerilla tactics!” No but seriously, Beth and you are right, the library is a place for study, for contemplative self-reflection, for the expansion of knowledge and the reverent worship of that most sublime of relics, the book. You had to stem the chaos, restrain the youthful excitement and snuff out all the subversive elements in your otherwise serene environment. I understand, really I do.
gummi bears are squishy
Well, to comment on what Mitch said, I don’t see the library as a place for worshipping the book, and I appreciate and encourage subversive behavior. However, when it looks like they are going to splash blood on my computers, that’s where I draw the line.
II also have a comment for Mitch’s posting - “rebelled against , disobeyed and resisted through all kinds of guerilla tactics!” MY children? Never!
Joking aside, don’t be too hard on yourself Carleen, what you did and said was probably necessary under the circumstances, and like Beth says, there’s always a tomorrow when you get a chance to handle it differently, IF you still feel badly about the way you did it this time. It must be a very difficult line to balance on, because you have to remember also, that there are other people at the library, who come there for reasons other than creating havock, and you have to cater to them as well, which you did! I bet there were quite a few who were glad to hear you tell them off. And I suspect they’ll be back, feeling none the worse for the telling off. You’re beating yourself up over it, they have probably already forgotten about it.
mom
Sounds like you did what anybody would do. Don’t worry about it.
In re my first comment: that was a nasty and inaccurate thing to say about Patrick Jones. I apologize.
Beth, I loved your first comment! Although it may be inaccurate (since we now know that Patrick Jones currently works the reference desk when he isn’t traveling around doing workshops) what you said made me feel a great deal better. That was, of course, your intention. To encourage a friend, a co-worker and remind her that she’s only human. As always, you are a wonderful mentor and great friend