26.03.05

Did you know that for the better part of my adolescent years, I posed as a loyal Metallica fan? I had posters, t-shirts, cd’s cassettes, you name it. I decorated my room with black furniture, desk, curtains to celebrate the notorious Black album. All the while, I didn’t even know the name of the freakin lead singer. What’s his name, James somethin’? Although I have pretty much all their albums, even now, fifteen years later, I have never actually listened to anything off of And Justice For All.
So yesterday morning while we were listening to one of their albums while driving home from our delightful Eggberts breakfast, Mike asks me if I was able to remember the name of the chick who sang backup for some song I don’t even know the title of, from one of the older albums that I’ve never actually listened to. He’s been on a Metallica kick lately, which I think started when he noticed I was reading Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls and asked me if I noticed anything about the book that was similar to the song written by Metallica. “Hmmm…I don’t know honey, it’s been so long since I’ve heard that song.” Ok, so that was not so true statement number one. Bad bad for marriage. The real truth is that I have never, at least not consciously, ever listened to the song For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica, in fact, I didn’t even know it ever existed. At first, I actually thought he was talking about the Pink Floyd song but don’t get any ideas because I don’t really know anything about them either except that they had something to do with the Wizard of OZ.
So, when he asked me about the back-up singer, I figured it was time for me to ‘fess up. “Listen, babe, I kinda have to tell you something. I’m not really as much of a Metallica fan as you think I am. I know that back when we were first dating I said I was nuts about them and it probably appeared that I was nuts about them since I did have all their albums but I only said that because I knew you were a drummer and, I really liked you and I knew that you really like them so…well, the truth is I was always a poser.” So, he starts laughing and I’m like “go ahead, tie me to a post, have the towns people throw tomatoes at me, file for divorce come Monday, I won’t blame you really.” He keeps laughing. Then he says “this originally had something to do with a guy, didn’t it?”
Damn he is so perceptive. Yes, this did originally have something to do with a guy. It was eighth grade, binders covered with NKOTB stickers (I never really listend to their music either), tie dye t-shirts, keds of all different shapes and shades…I had a crush on this guy who was a major Metallica fan. He in turn had a crush on this chick who was also a major Metallica fan and who always wore Metallica t-shirts. And so began my days as Metallica fan poser. I am not proud of it. But at least I got rid of those dorky keds.