August 2005

Not a good week. My only goal this week was to paint 3 strips of moulding to slap on the floor in my entryway. Every single day, “something” came up. I won’t go over the details as it’s all minor stuff, but it was just annoying to not be getting anywhere (once again) on the kitchen. Add to that the fact that I had to spend $560 on new tires and a new battery for the car - I wanted nothing more than for the week to be over.

Then came the proverbial whip cream on the ice cream dish of my week. Our sink became clogged and no amount of plunging could unstick the mess - in fact the more plunging I did, the more the sink got filled with water (weird). So i decided to have a look at the trap under the sink. I got the biggest bucket we have, feeling confident there was plenty of space for the water in the sink, and stuck it under the trap. I proceeded to undo the trap from the rest of the plumbing allowing all the water to run into the bucket - sure enough the pipes were clogged with rice noodles - no biggy. At this point the bucket is 3/4 full and I decide to peek up at how much water I have left. The sink is only 1/2 empty! I scream for Carleen, seeking desperatley to stop the flow of water somehow, to no avail. A huge gush of water pours all over the floor - not a problem - when you have a finished floor, with moulding and everything. We however do not have a floor such as this. So, I now have a gallon of water flowing freely underneath my floor, which makes a lovely “squishy” sound - not to mention the fact the my beautiful new floor is completely warped and bubbly now. I’ll probably have to pull up about 1/4 of the floor and re-lay it. I’m not a happy person right now, nor am I feeling very “handy”.

Oh, lets not forget a co-worker who used the “N” word in a conversation with me, twice (yes, I do mean THAT “N” word). What is this the 1940’s? I think I was more upset at myself for only doing the “not comfortable” routine, instead of saying something to him. There’s just no need for that kind of language in any situation.

A final note: something dawned on me the other night - to my knowledge, Kid Rock has not put out any recent albums - this can only be a good thing.

To kick off our new-found diet, Macrobiotics, me and Carleen decided to take a “Rice Fast” - ten days of nothing but rice and tea. We’re talking RICE - not stir-fried in oil or with veggies. JUST rice. We were excited - all the new possiblities, all the new recipes, all the new veggies we would discover in the future. We were Yin. We were Yang.

2 Bowls

We each got 2 Bowls into our fast before dropping rice like a bad habit. Since then, I’ve had lurid thoughts of dancing cows in “Playboy” like poses holding a Snickers bar in one hoof and a slice of pizza in the other. I’ve also entertained thoughts of punching Michio Kushi (founder of Macrobiotics) in the face.

I’ve not been a pleasant person, nor have I felt very friendly these past few days. I look forward to a life of Tofu, low-fat, low-sugar, no-taste eating, and I…. am…. not…. happy. You could say this is a “valley” in my “Road to Recovery”. The thing that gets me is how tremendous this diet (I say “diet”, lifestyle is really more accurate, in my opinion) is for people, especially people like me. I would think that I would simply reach a point of resignation with my fate and accept the lifestyle wholeheartedly. I think I’ve only reached the stage of Denial, however.

*Note*: I would just like to add, that the morning before Carleen quit the rice, she walked out the door calling me a “pansy” for quitting. I have, as of yet, not retaliated.

Me and Carleen have, for some time now, been looking into the Macrobiotic Diet. Really more of a philosophy than a “diet” - it encompasses the philosophy of yin and yang. It kinda sounded rather hokey at first, but let me tell you, when everything you eat gives you stomach cramps and gas, crazy stuff starts looking more and more sane. Because, I’ve got to face it - the Western diet is just not suited for Ulcerative Colitis, and my list of “safe” foods continues to diminish.

The Macrobiotic Diet is very “Eastern”, lots of seaweed, Brown Rice (which i eat tons of anyway), Beans, Whole Grains. But it can get a tad extreme - no cooking in the microwave, no metal utensils, cook on a gas stove, etc. We’ve decided to wade slowly into things though. Come Monday, we’ll be going on a “Rice Fast” - we’ll be eating nothing but brown rice and drink nothing but tea for 10 days. Doesn’t much sound like “wading” does it? Well the benefits of fasting in such a way are well worth it, in my opinion.

Another major theme of Macrobiotics is chewing each bite of food about 100 times (no exaggeration). I’ve kept it reasonable - I try to chew each bite into a sufficient mush before swallowing. This has already been a tremendous help for me, significantly decreasing the bloating I was experiencing. It also helps control overeating, as you have time to register that you are full. Furthermore, by keeping each bite in your mouth longer, the enzymes can convert more of the food into the type of sugar that your brain needs to function properly

So I was being closed-minded about Macrobiotics at first, but I think I’m going to try to slowly convert myself and see how my health changes.

I recently got the news that my little sister, Kim, is getting married! I just wanted to write a post congratulating her on this happy news. Here’s a pic of them together:

Not sure I’ve mentioned it on this blog, but on a few occasions I fancy myself a soap maker. I have myself a separte blog for my little hobby, but I find it tedious to keep two separate blogs. So I figure I’ll just continue my blog here.

Last night I made my 4th batch of soap - it started off quite sketchy actually. I decided to try mixing lye with Orange Juice instead of water. I’m still undecided as to the wiseness of that decision. First off it makes a terrible smell (sort of very old fish), next the juice turned deep orange, then brown, then completely black (though it’s now at a very nice light tan color). I’ll post pictures (as well as an update) as I get them. Here’s my recipe:

266.52 oz. Olive Oil
67.62 oz. Coconut Oil
4 oz. Beeswax
111.58 oz. Orange Juice
45.62 oz. Lye

2 cups ground rolled oats (added at trace)

Coincedentally, I discovered that the total volume of all the above ingredients is almost exactly the volume of my mixing bowl (Phheew!), not to mention the exact size of my mold. Probably should have made a smaller batch of this, seeing as how I was trying several new things (the OJ and the oatmeal). Live and learn….

The Internet is rife with “quizzes” - everything from how well of a “lover” you are, to what religion you should be. In a series of completly unrelated quizzes, I discovered much about myself that I never knew before (gee, I don’t know where I’d be without the internet…).

A co-worker told me about the first one, Which Harry Potter Girl Are You? (I’m Hermione Granger)

That led me to Which Harry Potter Character Are You? (I’m Ron Weasly - which I was happy about - the Weasly’s are my favorite characters.)

I was also sent a link from Carleen to the Belief-O-Matic where you can discover your true religion (I’m 100% Unitarian Universalism)

I also discovered Which Dungeons & Dragons Character Are You? (I’m a Chaotic Good, Elven, Ranger/Bard - it fits)

It’s a good thing quizzes like this exist or I would just be a little boy lost in the woods.

I hate Oklahoma. Anyone who reads this blog, or talks to me for any length of time will pick up on that rather quickly. I realize I’m not keeping a very open mind about this, but I have yet to find an instance that would make me think otherwise. In fact, most of my experiences here have only reinforced my current position on the subject.

Such as this morning.

I have lived here for something like 3 years now and have yet to obtain an Oklahoma Driver’s License. It’s rather difficult, psychologically, as it’s one of the last, truly “New York” things I own. Not to mention the fact that NY Licenses last for so long. I got it in 1998 - it expires 2008. I’m only going to be in OK for, perhaps, another year, year and a half. You do the math.

However, I decided that, should I get a ticket, not having an OK License would only serve to exacerbate the situation. Thus my quest (and truly, after you hear my story, could only agree that this could be called nothing less than a quest) this morning to obtain an OK Driver’s License.

Now, for those who know not the wonders of actually having a Department of Motor Vehicels Office right in your city of residence, let me tell you a few things. This will also serve as stark contrast to my experience today. In NY, there is one building and only one building. It’s the DMV building - you go in one door, you stand in one line, you take one number and wait - once. When your number appears on a very nice digital board, you approach the given booth and meet with (usually) a rather dour, semi-elderly woman who processes your forms (all of which are organized right by the entrance so you can have them filled out before your number is called), and sends you on your way.

Not so in Oklahoma. In Oklahoma there are 3, yes three separted buildings all dealing with some manner of “Tags”, no DMV, Tags. Do I look like a Poodle? I’m not trying to get a rabies shot, I want to drive legally in your state. The first building - the “Tag Agency”, I waited in line for two other customers - not bad I thought - I’ve been in there when there is very little standing room, my hopes for the day were high. After about ten or so minutes, I was able to approach the counter. “I have a NY Driver’s License, I need to get an OK Driver’s License.” I told the woman. “Oh, sorry, that’s around the corner.” she said. No big deal - just around the corner, and I even got an apology for having to wait in a line I didn’t need to be in. Not bad.

“I have a NY Driver’s License, I need to get an OK Driver’s License.” I told the next woman. “You need to go to the testing office on Hensley.” I’m told. Annoying. Why can’t these two buildings be joined. Knowing approxiamately where the building is located, I head in that direction - stopping by, of course, to see Carleen as I pass the Library. So I approach the building that I remember as being the testing office, only to see “Army National Guard Recruiting Center” on the sign. Hmmm. bothersome. I call Carleen, hoping to obtain directions. No, luck, so we try (each of us) calling the number to the “Tag Express Agency”. Answering machine. How convenient. I hear a message telling me that office hours are Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. I look at the clock - 9:15. Curious. In stubborn determination, I decide to head to the “Tag Express Agency”. I walk in, I grab a number, I sit, I wait. “Number 19″. Yaay! I’m about to get me License.

“I have a NY Driver’s License, I need to get an OK Driver’s License.” I tell the woman. “Oh you have to go to the testing office, do you know where that is?” I think, well, does anyone really know where it is? Apparently not. I’m convinced that this point that Oklahoma, Bartlesville specifically, probably has the highest number of unlicensed drivers in all of the U.S. So I tell the woman, no, I do not know where the testing office is. Head straight, go through a stop light, and then a 4-way stop sign, then it’s the second building on the left.

Ok, stop light - check. 4-way stop sign - check (wait, you’re kidding me right….they couldn’t be that stupid….), second bulding on the left (…yup, they are that stupid….)

“Army National Guard Recruiting Center”

Of course. How could I be so daft? This makes all the logical sense in the world. “Come! Learn to drive! And while you’re here, join the National Guard!” I’m so bloody stupid.

Needless to say, I still do not have an OK Driver’s License - I was too pissed at that point to even pull in the parking lot. I love NY.