Carleen and Mike

Liam has two teeth! On the bottom. I would show you a picture but you can’t really see them unless you look close.

It was a little bit of a rough weekend with him, but not too bad. Today was wierd. He fell asleep on the way back from moms this afternoon and slept until 8pm. That would be his bedtime. So, I have a very awake baby when he’s supposed to be going to bed. Too bad he’s not old enough to play monoply or something, that usually puts me to sleep.

Here he is trying to get relief by chewing on a biscuit:

Mike did away with my perky template because it was lacking in a admin link and search box. I’ve lost faith in my ability to choose proper templates so I’ve stolen the one he’s used for his campaign blog. I figure since he’s already used it then it must have his seal of approval :-). Sorry about the avatar. I have no idea who that dude is. I’ll have Mike replace it with a lovely snuggle picture of me and him once he wakes up.

I found out last Friday that the city has pre-approved a salary increase for me. It’s always been a goal to make my position full time professional whether I was in it or not but since Mike and I have been looking for a one person work one person stay at home schedule they were kind enough to include it in this years budget request. I was supposed to keep this secret until the final public approval was made but apparently it’s already leaked so there you go. Unless something drastic happens, begginning in July, I will be a full time professional librarian with salary.

It’s rather ironic that I should find this out now. I was supposed to have an interview for a youth services position at the Tulsa City County Library this morning. I called early to cancel it but no one answered so I had to leave a message. It was really hard to explain the situation on a voicemail and i hung up feeling really awkward about the whole thing. Career goals put aside, Mike and I are exhuasted from our schedule, despite what the city decided I was bound and determined to have a full time position somewhere by the end of summer. When I got to work, I emailed the HR guy to make sure he got my message. It was supposed to be a telephone interview. He returned my email just before lunch to say that he had got it, congratulations on my new position and that out of 25 applicants I was in the top five so they were a little disappointed but they understood. I nearly cried.

The truth is, I would prefer the youth services position. That is my goal here, to work with kids, with teenagers specifically and I’m pushing thirty now and rather anxious to actually start a career, something that gives me a clear sense of purpose. Who knows if I had gotten it. I still would have had to oust four other people and that’s certainly not an easy thing to do. But I’ve applied for several positions at the Tulsa library since graduating and this was the first time I got a call back. When I recieved that email and realized that there really was a chance at this job, I really started to second guess my decision to back out. The library I work at now has done a lot for me and has provided me with a lot of opportunities but I am more then ready to move on at this point. Although the position I have is giving me a lot of valuable experiences, I’m simply burned out on it. I’ve worked at this library on and off since I was nineteen and I’ve shared many wondeful memories with the people I work with, been mentored by some great people, but the office politics and drama that goes on there now seems to be hindering any real progress at this point. I tend to leave work feeling more frustrated then fullfilled these days which was another reason why I applied for the youth services position in Tulsa. I am simply not happy at my current job and that enivitably is making an impact on my personal and family life. I have to take that into consideration. But leaving may not be the best thing for my family. The job in Tulsa paid about four thousand more than the one here. If we stayed here in Bartlesville, that means commuting two hours a day. A lot of gas money and less time with Liam. Moving to Tulsa would mean higher cost of living. The extra four thousand would mean little at this point and Mike may even have to take a second job which defeats the whole one parent stay at home thing. But the plus side would be that I would have my first career job thereby paving the way for when we move back upsate and I need a job up there. However, there’s always the possibility that the job in Tulsa is an absolutely horrible job, so then I’m stuck with a horrible job, a two hour commute, less time with my son and possibly even more unhappy then I am at my current job here in Bartlesville. In the end, I was pretty much hugging my knees in a fit of frustration trying to make a decision. I chose to stay here, to do what I can with the position I have…and keep looking.

While Carleen took Liam out for his bedtime nap (man it’s getting harder and harder to get him to sleep lately, especially when he’s missed his normal naptime), I got dinner ready (s’getti), made some yogurt, and finished up my henna paste. I got into henna earlier last year when Carleen asked for a henna tattoo on her stomach in the last part of her pregnancy. I’ve only done it the once, but this time I bought 100 grams, so I’m hoping to get a bit more practice. Once me and Carleen are all henna’d up I’ll post some pictures. Whoo! Can’t wait.

Remember the possum? The one who would drive Turbo crazy, sending him to climb trees and jump fences in an effort to apprehend the poor rodent, and me seven months pregnant running after him climbing trees and jumping fences at 6am in the morning? The one we so stealthily caught last summer and released into the country like good animal activists. Well, looks like it had a baby and left it behind. Turbo had it between its jaws this morning. In my sleepy haze I almost decided to just let him have it but then I realized that the vomit that would surely come up afterwards would likely be an even worse pain in the ass to clean up so I shook it out of his mouth and brought him inside. By the time I came back the possum was done possuming. I’m done being nice. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND SHOOT THE DAMN WILDLIFE LIVING IN OUR YARD!

A while back I made my own didgeridoo out of PVC pipe (see link for instructions). I haven’t played it in a while, but I got it out yesterday, and tooled around with it some more. It’s pretty fun to play, though I’m still working on the circular breathing, which is painfully difficult. Circular breathing allows you to play the “didg” for long periods of time without stopping. Here’s a recording so you can hear what one sounds like. I’d love to get a real one someday, but I would like to get things down with my PVC one first, that way I know I’ll actually use it when I pay the money for it. Between this and my Native American Flute, I’m really starting to like Wind instruments.

Tooling around yesterday while working on something else, I came across this little gem:

I love the reaction of the guy in red about 1:30 in. I can see it on his face, “Dude, hold the phone, they told me this was the ‘Price is Right’, man!”

This weekend I had the delight of going to see what will probably stand as one of the finest horror movies of our generation. I do not speak these words lightly. 28 Weeks Later simply blew me away at every turn. I’m not going to do a full blown review, cause I hate writing that much. But I will say this: the acting? spectacular from all involved; the writing? Poetry; the Plot? heart-wrenching, AND gut-wrenching (now how many movies can claim that. Robert Carlyle plays the main character who we come to love, despise, and feel the utmost pity for. His character was great, and of course, he pulled of the acting marvelously. Imogen Poots and Macintosh Muggleton (I don’t think J.K. Rowlings herself could have written any two more perfect “Harry Potter” names) play his children, well done from both of them. Ms. Poots, I should mention, has the most beautiful eyes I think I have ever seen.

The amazing part of the movie was how much we cared for characters that showed up for only a short period of time in the movie. The writers built these amazingly well-rounded and believable characters and had no compunctions nor hesitation to snuff those characters out. Another thing that impresses me about 28 Weeks Later as well as 28 Days Later, was how the really crappy things that happen aren’t what the infected do to the humans, but what humans do to themselves. You gotta love a “zombie” movie that acts as a window into the human condition, huh? Romero’s another one who does this really well.

Anyway, forget Spider-Man, go see 28 Weeks Later, the helicoper scene is worth the price of admission alone.

Carleen directed me to a sweet little site called last.fm - a music social networking site which allows you to share your musical tastes with those who have similar tastes. You download a little program which syncs up with your favorite music player (iTunes, in our case) and uploads the list of titles that you listen to. After a few days of listening to music, it’ll hook you up with people who listen to similar music as you. The problem in my case, is that I’m not looking for similar music, I’m tired of listening to the same crap I have listened to since college. Once upon a time I was very musically savvy. Now however I’m so out of the loop (and to be honest I don’t mind being out of the loop - most music you’d normally hear today is horrible), that I need the help of a site like this to get “hooked up”.

Man, I couldn’t even get this post finished without Liam waking up. Now you know why you haven’t heard from me too often.

LATER: Ok, I had a few more things I wanted to say before I call this post quits. First off, I wanted to point out that in the comments Chrissy calls me “old”. Granted she has a point, and she highlights something that I wish I wouldn’t do - generalize, especially negatively. Most music today isn’t horrible, let’s face it, I may have been playing drums for 12+ years, but I’m no Neil Pert, so who am I to criticise? A more accurate statement would have been: “Much of the music that I hear of late does not appeal to my aural persuasion.” But I will point out, young lady, that I’m only 4 years your senior

Back to last.fm. I have hit a few bad spots on the site, although they’re not enough to turn me away - yet. The site is a tad slow, actually, awfully slow sometimes. But that probably comes with any social networking site, so that’s hard to blame them. Compared to MySpace last.fm is Speedy Freakin’ Gonzalez. Also, some of the music recommendations are a bit “off”. Certainly, the recommendations are spot on as far as what I’m listening to, however for example they recommended Nirvana (a valid recommendation, based off what I’ve been listening to). Now, when they recommend something, they list a few bands that that band sounds like, so you can get an idea what they sound like. Well they compared Nirvana to Green Day. Huh?! Carleen pointed out that it may be that instead of being based off what the band sounds like, it’s based more off what people who listen to that band also listen to. So in other words, people who listen to Nirvana, also listen to Green Day.

I’m also hoping to get more obscure recommendations, most of what I’ve been recommended so far I’ve heard before, I’m looking for new music, a new sound, not more of the same. That’s a feature I’d like to see, a setting where you can determine what kind of recommendations you get.
Still, I do have to give it a few days, they do say that recommendations get better the more you listen.

My biggest problem is that I’m clueless as to what I really want to listen to. After the Jam band/Grunge era of the 90’s came to a close, I was pretty clueless, musically. I suppose I could go back to soak up a few of those bands I missed out on, like moe, Phish, etc. But I think I’m more interested in World music, especially Scandinavian folk/rock like Garmarna, Gjallarhorn; and Celtic Rock like Celtic Soul (I got a thing for Irish women.). Also, female singers with smoky/jazzy voices - in the vein of Fiona Apple and Tori Amos (speaking of her, I need to pick up her new one…). I just heard Ani DiFranco yesterday, and I may just give her a second listen. Cindy gave me a few tracks each of Belly and Rasputina - the tracks she gave me were great, but when I went a listened to more of their stuff, I really disliked it. I’m also thinking about checking out some Brazilian stuff. Anything with really good drums will get me into it the quickest.

Off to listen…Enjoy stuff!

Carleen mentioned today how she feels bad that she’s “taking over” the blog. I have to admit my presence on this thing is not at a level I would like it to be, but to paraphrase Fiona Apple on this subject: Who wants to write when you’re happy? So I have a tendency to write only when bad things happen - the blog is my Bitchin’ Post.

So how ’bout I lighten up a little and just ramble? Went and saw Spider-Man 3 this weekend. I was sorely disappointed. Too much stuff! The entire Sandman plot was just pointless and unneeded. And it’s really too bad when the best acting in a movie goes to a black glob of CGI goo. I am excepting, of course, Ms. Bryce Dallas Howard. It was wonderful seeing her on screen again - she lit it up. She was, unfortunately, under-used. And let’s not forget to mention the now-famous Bruce Campbell cameo. This time he plays a French waiter - terrific! Is it just me or is Tobey Macguire getting smaller each time he plays Spidey?

I’ve been watching a neat little television show that Cindy burned for me called Spaced. It’s done by the same people who brought you Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I won’t say that it’s a great show, but on a scale from 1 to Awesome, it comes in at Really Good. It’s got a quirky, very British, sense of humor that I just adore and Simon Pegg is great in any role I see him in.

My mom taught be a trick the other day. Tupperwear is very entertaining to babies.

Liam has very little interest in his own toys anymore. He is, however, very drawn to electrical things…chords, cell phones and especially our laptop.

So, I’m sort of going nuts with the bling bling on this blog. Poor Mike, I’ve all but taken over this site with my widget mania. I discovered a whole bunch of internet “tools” while I was at work on Friday and I’ve spent most of this weekend signing up for various social networking/bookmarking sites, most of which probably serve me no real purpose what so ever other than to fill my email box up with useless notification mails. So, I’ve added a Wink widget, in addition to my del.ic.ious cloud. I have a tendency to sign up for these things and then go on a tirade a few weeks later about how stupid and narcisstic they are. I’ve deleted my myspace account twice for this reasoning. Somehow, I always end up back on…a sad product of our current culture, I guess.

Turbo is somewhat of a gypsy not to mention escape artist. If there’s a way out of confinement he’ll find it and go off exploring. He did exactly that in the middle of the night on Saturday. The wind had pushed our make-shift chicken wire fence gate open. Being that it was dark, Mike didn’t notice it right away. He came back in a panic, grabbing his jeans and, with Liam in tow, we took both cars and spent most of the early morning trying to find him. Make a long story short, some kind hearted person from Woodland Hills estate found him around lunch time the next day and gave us a call. For those who don’t know where we live, Turbo would have had to cross a couple of major highways (for B’vill anyway) to get to that area of town.

We got Turbo from the shelter a few years ago. It was about a year after we bought Chani who was still a puppy and very energetic. We had discussed several times about getting a second dog to keep her company and because there was just something about having two dogs that she seemed so nice and balanced. Chani was a birthday gift for Mike and she has always been sort of his dog. Turbo…well, he’s definitely mine. The minute I met him, I felt something very kindred about him. We have a lot in common. We’ve both got anxiety issues and we’re both a little gypsy. I’ve always had a thing for strays in general, be man or beast, and Turbo has this quality about him, something in his eyes that says “love me love me don’t leave me alone” and I’ve always pulled to that sort of thing. However, despite how dear he is to me, he can be an amazing pain in the ass sometimes. He demands a great deal of attention. He has this annoying habit of standing right at my feet, following me around everywhere I go, and climbing on me every time I sit down (had a boyfriend like this once).

I’m not sure but I think this may be one of the reasons Mike does not particularly like Turbo. There may be a kind of alpha battle going on between them. Whatever it may be, Mike has been known to avoid Turbo’s pleas for attention on purpose. He was quite vocal about it on Saturday afternoon, only a few hours before Turbo disappeared. Turbo is very gentle and is very good at sitting. I’ve worked with him as much as possible to show him that I will gladly pet him if he refrains from climbing or jumping on me. So he walked over to Mike and did a very elegant sit right in front of him, tail still wagging, ears flopped back. Mike just stood there. My mom kindly brought Turbo to his attention and Mike responed with “I’m not going to pet him. I don’t like him, he doesn’t like me.” I’m not entirely sure where this came from in Mike. He has a rather dry sense of humor which is, in fact, one of the things I’ve always loved in him. However, there are times when he says things that are meant to be taken in jest that will instead inspire contrary impulses in me, like wanting to hit him hard over the head with a kitchen broom yelling “Just pet the damn dog, you jerk!”.

So after we spent the morning searching for Turbo, after it became clearer and clearer that we may never see him again, I asked Mike about what he had said and before I could even finish my question he said “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that all night.” I, in turn, felt just as guilty since I have spent many a day recently letting out my exacerbation and stress on Turbo because, well he happen’s to be right there at my feet. It was hard not to imagine Turbo jumping at the opportunity to leave his home on purpose, a little like a disgruntled teenager. “Yeah, whatever, you guys don’t care, I’m leaving.”

I also sort of wondered whether he might have been wanting to leave for a long time. When we picked him up from the shelter we were told that he had already been there twice before, that he was obviously a wonderer at heart or just neglected so bad that he had no choice but to wonder. Sometimes I just wish I could get inside his head and learn his story. I can sort of imagine him growing up out in the country somewhere. Mike was raised in the country and had country dogs growing up. When I would go up to stay with him at his parent’s place I was always amazed to see his dog and the neighbor’s dogs just wondering around, no leash, nothing. They were fed once a day early in the morning and would just wonder off, usually not seen again until the sun went down at the end of the day. What a wonderful way for a dog to live. Our dogs? I’m a suburbia girl. Our dogs eat small portions of food three times a day because the American Vetranarian’s Society recommends it for easier digestion. If they’re depressed, they take doggy prozac. If they go somewhere outside of this house, it’s either on a leash or in a car….with a seat belt. Yes, my dogs have their very own seat belts. If I were Turbo, and if I were raised in the country, I would have a very difficult time adjusting to this type of lifestyle. I can just imagine what goes on in his head “You psycho lady, what the hell? Seat belts?!”

Who knows what he was thinking when he discovered that gate wide open and wondered off. I’m just glad he’s back. I think he’s glad he’s back too, at least right now. Zeus almighty decided to unleash the mother of all lightening storms on us tonight. I’ve pretty much been up with both Chani and Turbo since 2am. I think he was up pacing the house before that but luckily I was fast asleep and couldn’t hear them. I was suprised to discover Chani trembling too. Usually she’s pretty indifferent to storms. The only way I seem to be able to calm them down is to turn on a bunch of lights in the house and turn the t.v. on., thereby drowing out all the lightening and thunder. I guess, in some ways, this is probably ridiculous. How many of us out there create a special environment for their dogs so they can sleep through a thunderstom.

I used to be part of this social networking site for moms called Mayasmom, really neat but…I don’t know, there was just so much “you go girl” talk and exasperated moms talking about their chaotic lives, I sort of felt like I was stuck in a Oprah Winfrey show. No offense, it just wasn’t my cup of tea, I’m just too introverted for that kind of thing. Anyway, I did discover a lot of wonderful mommy bloggers while I was there. This lady is one of my favorites. She’s currently heading a project to design a baby bottle shaped like a female breast…novel idea. Anyway, she’s been helping to promote a site called MomsRising which is actually based on a book and documentary by the same name (see preview here) which I’m really liking. They’re a grassroots movement trying to improve the rights of parents (moms especially but I think their intention is to improve things for families in general). Compared to most parents in the country, Mike and I are in a pretty good situation. I have my complaints about the maternity/paternity leave thing (or lack there of), but at least I got some paid leave. However, some parents get nothing and some mothers are severely discriminated against. I can remember a lady at work who’s daughter was having a baby around the same time I was. She works as a nurse. When her employer found out that she was pregnant, she was fired because she was the second pregnant person on that shift and he didn’t want to have to deal with two nurses gone on maternity leave at the same time. Crazy…yup! But when I looked things up, I was shocked to discover that there aren’t any laws that could have protected her or prevented her from getting fired.

They’re also trying to help encourage moms to stop bickering over what’s better, being a stay at home mom or a working mom. In the past few years there’s been literally dozens of books published on this subject. It’s as if there’s supposed to be a particular formula for parents to follow, everyone has an opinion and pretty soon you start questioning your own methods and lifestyle, feeling damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I just caught an interesting study off of DotMoms by the Pew Research Center:

A national survey by the Pew Research Center, conducted Feb.16-March 14 among 2,020 Americans, finds a widespread belief that today’s parents are not measuring up to the standard that parents set a generation ago. Mothers are seen as having the more difficult job, but they are also judged more harshly than are fathers. More than half of Americans (56%) say that mothers are doing a worse job today than mothers did 20 or 30 years ago. By comparison, somewhat fewer people (47%) say fathers are doing a worse job than fathers did 20 or 30 years ago.

It’s hard enough being a parent…why do we have to judge each other so harshly.

I keep loosing important pieces of my life. Don’t worry, I haven’t lost Liam…yet…but at the rate I’m going something like that, heaven forbid, may happen. Since becoming parents, Mike and I are undeniably living very busy lives. This is not an unusual situation, we are but one of many. We both work full time. He comes home from work around seven in the morning. We kiss, we hug, we chit-chat briefly before I rush off to do any and/or all of the above, run, walk dogs, pump boobs, shower, get ready for work, hopefully consume some sort of nutrition outside of the caffine/coffee food group. In the midst of all this there is a lot of a) tripping over canines b) yelling at canines c) yelling at spouses to make canines temporarily disappear d) whispered profanity (I already owe twelve bucks to the swear jar, this is getting serious) and of course, d) loosing/misplacing or simply not remembering were important items like keys, purse, shoes, mind have been placed in our ever-increasing disorderly household. Added to this are things like, forgetting to pay the visa bill…missing Liam’s doctor’s appointment, forgetting to buy a friend her wedding gift…you can kinda get the picture.

I really do try to stay organized. I swear, I really really do try to stay organized. Yesterday, I was starving. I wanted a real big plate of food, something any normal carnivore would drool over but after eight hours of work I was not prepared to cook such a meal myself so I decided to stop by Rib Crib on the way home. Good carnivore food. Large sweet tea, red meat, chicken…seasoned fries. Yum. I paid for the food. Somewhere between then and now, I have lost my credit card. Please, someone, help me keep track of the pieces of my life before I loose my mind.