Mike did away with my perky template because it was lacking in a admin link and search box. I’ve lost faith in my ability to choose proper templates so I’ve stolen the one he’s used for his campaign blog. I figure since he’s already used it then it must have his seal of approval :-). Sorry about the avatar. I have no idea who that dude is. I’ll have Mike replace it with a lovely snuggle picture of me and him once he wakes up.
I found out last Friday that the city has pre-approved a salary increase for me. It’s always been a goal to make my position full time professional whether I was in it or not but since Mike and I have been looking for a one person work one person stay at home schedule they were kind enough to include it in this years budget request. I was supposed to keep this secret until the final public approval was made but apparently it’s already leaked so there you go. Unless something drastic happens, begginning in July, I will be a full time professional librarian with salary.
It’s rather ironic that I should find this out now. I was supposed to have an interview for a youth services position at the Tulsa City County Library this morning. I called early to cancel it but no one answered so I had to leave a message. It was really hard to explain the situation on a voicemail and i hung up feeling really awkward about the whole thing. Career goals put aside, Mike and I are exhuasted from our schedule, despite what the city decided I was bound and determined to have a full time position somewhere by the end of summer. When I got to work, I emailed the HR guy to make sure he got my message. It was supposed to be a telephone interview. He returned my email just before lunch to say that he had got it, congratulations on my new position and that out of 25 applicants I was in the top five so they were a little disappointed but they understood. I nearly cried.
The truth is, I would prefer the youth services position. That is my goal here, to work with kids, with teenagers specifically and I’m pushing thirty now and rather anxious to actually start a career, something that gives me a clear sense of purpose. Who knows if I had gotten it. I still would have had to oust four other people and that’s certainly not an easy thing to do. But I’ve applied for several positions at the Tulsa library since graduating and this was the first time I got a call back. When I recieved that email and realized that there really was a chance at this job, I really started to second guess my decision to back out. The library I work at now has done a lot for me and has provided me with a lot of opportunities but I am more then ready to move on at this point. Although the position I have is giving me a lot of valuable experiences, I’m simply burned out on it. I’ve worked at this library on and off since I was nineteen and I’ve shared many wondeful memories with the people I work with, been mentored by some great people, but the office politics and drama that goes on there now seems to be hindering any real progress at this point. I tend to leave work feeling more frustrated then fullfilled these days which was another reason why I applied for the youth services position in Tulsa. I am simply not happy at my current job and that enivitably is making an impact on my personal and family life. I have to take that into consideration. But leaving may not be the best thing for my family. The job in Tulsa paid about four thousand more than the one here. If we stayed here in Bartlesville, that means commuting two hours a day. A lot of gas money and less time with Liam. Moving to Tulsa would mean higher cost of living. The extra four thousand would mean little at this point and Mike may even have to take a second job which defeats the whole one parent stay at home thing. But the plus side would be that I would have my first career job thereby paving the way for when we move back upsate and I need a job up there. However, there’s always the possibility that the job in Tulsa is an absolutely horrible job, so then I’m stuck with a horrible job, a two hour commute, less time with my son and possibly even more unhappy then I am at my current job here in Bartlesville. In the end, I was pretty much hugging my knees in a fit of frustration trying to make a decision. I chose to stay here, to do what I can with the position I have…and keep looking.
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