Kids, roaming, safety vs. stability

Mike and I have always talked about how we would like to settle in the country. Most of the places I’ve lived growing up were in the suburbs. Still my brother and I always managed to find some hidden path somewhere that would take us to some place more remote, open and wooded. I had a rotten habit of following my brother and his friends around. I know they didn’t want me there but I guess they figured out early that it was easier to just let me come with them then it was to tell me to leave since I would surely storm off whining “I’m tellin’ Mom” and that would just ruin everything. Sometimes we didn’t have to go far to find these places. They were usually easy to find in Norway. In fact, my grandmother’s house had a great yard with this really neat area of pine bushes where we would build little huts out of branches and stuff and run around pretending we were elves or warriors or something. In Scotland there was an area behind one of the schools in our neighborhood that we used to go to. I remember we picked blueberries there once.

I often think about my childhood and compare it to what I imagine Liam’s will be like. Like all parents, I want Liam to have a childhood filled with happy memories similar to the ones that I have of my own. But having said that, I can not imagine every letting him roam as far away as we were allowed to roam when we were kids. All I can think about is all the sex offenders and nut jobs out there. I get so upset when I see all the young kids who come to the library after school, just waiting around for their parents to get off work. If you’re fourteen or fifteen, ok, maybe. But we had a kid who was ten at the library the other night. He was there until closing time. He had ridden his bike there. We close at nine. It’s dark outside. This kid was going to bike home. At the age of ten. Downtown. In the dark. Am I wrong to think that’s insane? I’ll get Liam a bike. Bikes are good, exercise, fresh air. Good. But until he’s about fifteen, I’m biking everywhere with him. What about all the crazy drivers out there, what if he gets hit by a car? I’m going with him, that’s all there is too it. That’s not crazy, is it?

Ok, it is crazy. In fact, there are plenty of studies out there indicating that “hyperprotective parenting” could leave children at risk for more anxiety. I mean, Liam will never want to go outside or go anywhere on his own if I’m constantly scaring him about the potential “boogy man” lingering on the street corner or all the crazed drivers behind the wheel. I really have no idea how I’m going to balance this because there are so many legitimate reasons to be scared to let my son out of my sight yet, I’m going to have to eventually. Then there’s the whole nature thing. Part of the reason I don’t like living in suburban neighborhoods is the whole “pretty garden” stuff. I mean, I like pretty gardens. I want some prettyness to my garden but I also want a yard where my child can play without having to worry about accidently trampling the petunias. I want a garden of potted plants. The rest just needs to be open space with green grass and trees. With a rocking chair on the front porch and a picket fence in front. Wait a minute, nevermind. I’m thinking of that country song.