I have a secret

I have a secret and it sucks.  Not the secret itself but having to keep it because I have yet to get the absolute official word on this.  It looks like Mike and I may be moving soon.  Like, out-of-state moving.  We found out last Tuesday.  The last four days have been fury filled with all kinds of emotions for me.  Excited? Hell ya.  Nervous? You betchya.  Anxious? Don’t even go there.  Sad? Yup, lots of that too.  Why?  Well, cuz Oklahoma is the one place I’ve lived longest.  I was overseas for a total of fourteen years.  As much as I claim to be a foreigner the hard truth is that I’ve lived in Oklahoma a grand total of sixteen years.  Ok, yeah, so there are those four years I was in college but still.  There are a lot of memories here and since my parents are opting to move along with us so they can be close (thank god…added plus is once my brother decides to move back to the continent then we’ll all be in the same time zone for once), it’s unlikely I’m going to be coming back to Bartlesville anytime soon.

I have another secret.  Country music has grown on me.  I actually listen to it regularly (shut-up Mike!) and I’m not sure country music is going to have the same ring to it where we’ll be going as it does down here where, yes, good looking men still wear cowboy hats and wranglers in public during the daytime.  In fact, they come into our library all the time.  I had to kick one guy out once because he was “dippin’ chew” and spittin’ it into his soda bottle.  It was really quite quaint.

Then of course there’s friends. Game Night.  Halloween parties.  Group gatherings at Movies 6 for openings.  I admitt, our social life has always been limited due to shyness and general busyness but there’s some really special people we’re going to be leaving and that really sucks.  I know we’ll always be in touch but it’s hard when you realize that things won’t ever be the same.  Now that your time is limited you start kicking yourself for not getting together with people more often.  I have a general disability when it comes to friendships.  It’s always been hard for me to get too close to people when you’ve had a childhood like mine.  If I wasn’t moving then my best friend probably would be soon so with all that bouncing around you just sort of learn to disconnect and be content with close aquaintances instead of long life friendships.  But you get together with the same people on a regular basis every week for four years and you get close whether you like it or not.

So, it’s not a sure thing yet but it still has my head spinning.  Moving was a little better when I was younger.  All I needed was a suitcase and a plane ticket.  Now we have to sell a house, move a two year old, two dogs, a truck full of belongings, then buy another house, possibly a four wheel drive…phew.  Luckily, we have two sets of parents and a lot of emotional support from good buddies.  It won’t be a piece a cake but it will be fine.  Stress is temporary.  Change is mandatory.