Carleen and Mike

I’ve been on a steroid called Prednisone since, oh, about Thanksgiving to help cool off my Crohn’s disease which has been wildly out of control since a month or two before that. This is pretty standard stuff for people with Crohn’s. While I’m on it I’m doing ok and it does help keep me under control, problem is, it’s not really a good idea to be on steroids for a long period of time. Let’s not even talk about the side effects (”You’re making me angry; you don’t want to see me when I’m angry…Grrr, Mike Smash!” - kind of hard to imagine me 8 feet tall, green and wearing torn purple shorts, but that’d give you an idea of what it’s like on Prednisone).

Recently, it became time for me to slowly step off Pred, dropping from 40mg to 20mg. The day after I dropped down all my symptoms returned. So at a recent doctors visit, I was given the option of trying another, higher dosage of Prednisone, or stepping up to the big guns - Remicade. I chose to try Remicade. These some powerful drugs. It’s given slowly, via IV over a period of about 2-3 hours (bring a book or two, yo’) and there can be some serious, but rare, side effects. It’s an immunosuppressant, so you sneezers and coughers stay the hell away from me. I have to take one treatment next week, another in 2 weeks and another 6 weeks from now, then after that it’s every 8 weeks. The biggest problem? $8000 PER treatment. I talked to my insurance company to find out how much is covered, basically, after my deductible is met, I’m responsible for $1500 per treatment. Still, that’s harsh. For $8000 THEY should supply ME with reading material. I’ve still got to talk to my doctor to find out how long I need to be on it for, but I gather at least a year. So, you know, if anyone knows a rich, divorced/widowed woman who’s looking to pay for sex, could you send her my way? I’d prefer that to “working the corner”, but dammit, I’ll do what it takes. I just don’t know how good I look in heels…

Unless somebody dear to me decides to die in the near future, this month is going down as the worst month of 2008 (and we’re only two months in). In addition to the local corruption and headbanging going on, our city is also currently experiencing a full blown flu epidemic. I would find you the article that supports these claims but our newspapers’ online archive sucks (I distinctly remember flu or maybe health epidemic in the article title…I’ve tried both and neither pick of squat).

Although I’m fully recovered from my flu (for now), everyone around me is sick. I mean real sick. Co-workers, friends and family. Mike has been down with the full blown stuff, chest, cough, fever since Wednesday night. I’m here at my parents again trying to keep Liam and myself quarantined since I currently have no sick days left and don’t want to catch anything that will force me to have to go to work sick or stay at home with unpaid leave. I was supposed to go to Tulsa today for a workshop but my poor mom, who has already had the tummy flu twice, has now caught the other kind of flu or something of its kind we don’t really know yet, all we know is that she’s not well. We spent a frantic fifteen minutes this morning right before I was supposed to leave trying to figure out whether I should use my last family sick leave to stay at home since I really hated the thought of her taking care of Liam all day feeling the way she did. I felt guilty no matter what decision I came close to choosing. Staying home might make me look bad at work. Going would leave my mom under strain. Me staying would then make my mom feel guilty for being in a condition that would warrant me missing work. So then she would back out insisting she’d be fine. One look at her expression would tell me the exact opposite. Round and round we go. My dad, bless him, insisted that he could handle it, which I’m sure he could, but I know my mom and I know that if I wasn’t around and dad was left alone with Liam she wouldn’t rest like a good patient, she would be up and about helping.

So, I stayed at home, which turned out to be the right choice in the end since I just put Liam to bed with a 101 degree fever. He’s been out of sorts ever since he woke up this morning and went through several crying fits throughout the day. I’m hoping his symptoms are of the simple teething pain/bubbles in the tummy sort of stuff because Mike and I have worked very hard to try and keep him away from all the flu people so he doesn’t have to go through that kind of discomfort. I don’t know. We should probably just give up and hope that as one family member begins to feel bad, another will begin to feel better and somewhere out there they’ll be somebody to take care of our son in the meantime.

It never occurred to me until today how lost I’d be without my parents. It really got me thinking. For one thing, I’m not aware of my dad ever staying home from work to take care of Mitch and I when my mom got sick. She didn’t get “sick leave” from being a stay-at-home mom. So, as the working person in the house, imagining myself in a situation where I didn’t have my parents close by like this, do I get to say “Eeek, Mike, fever of 102. Man. That must suck. And that cough sounds horrible, hope you don’t end up with bronchitis again. Well. I’m off to work.”

Yeah, right. I mean, this is precisely the reason I did stay at home today. Parenting is changing for the better in someways at least. I’d be willing to bet if the tables were turned, Mike would stay home for me. I was faced with a situation where I could either leave my son at home with sick people, making things hard on them and risking the health of my child or stay at home and take responsibility for my child (no stranger or non-family member will be babysitting Liam until he’s able to talk…so alternative childcare is not an option…you should hear some of the horror stories I’ve heard). Yes, it was my last family sick. Oh well. We’ll just have to hope that March will bring with it a fresh breeze that will wipe away all the sickness in this town. As for all the headbanging at city hall? Who knows how long that will go on.

Apparently, Bartlesville is the sickest community in Oklahoma right now. We have all sorts of flu strains floating around; Type A, Type B, flu’s so bad that they turn into pneumonia or bronchitis if left untreated. Last week my parents contracted a nasty stomach flu, otherwise known as the Norovirus. My mom actually got it twice, was sick one day, thought she’d recovered until she spent the next two days even sicker than she was before.

Since having Liam, I’ve been more worried when flu season comes around. It’s easy to catch stuff working a service desk at a public library. People come in sneezing, coughing, blowing their noses. Then they touch our books, use our computers, type on our keyboards. I have a bottle of Germ-X on my desk and have been particularly OCD about using it lately.

However, by last week I started to get the feeling I wasn’t going to be able to avoid the flu much longer. I had already been getting these random symptoms, that head fever headache feel but it would just never quite develop into anything. In the end, it happened so often that I put it down to allergies even though I’m not usually prone to allergies. But last week several staff members were out with the flu, and Wednesday night a teenager puked next to one of the public computers while I was at work. Then on Saturday, I played a volleyball tournament in Ochelata where someone’s kid puked in the gym. Here we were, in a contained building, with everyone sweating and passing around the same ball. At that point, I knew it was only a matter of time. Sure enough, early Monday morning, the Norovirus made it’s first appearance in my toilet bowl. I ran into the bedroom, woke Mike up to tell him that I was heading over to Mom and Dads for “quarantine”…and here is where I’ve been. I haven’t seen my baby in two days. I don’t think I’ve ever been away from him this long. I’m going nuts.

Thankfully, the worst of it is over although I do feel incredibly weak and woozy when standing. I’m also glad to report that Mike and Liam are still symptom free but just to be sure, I’m spending another night at my parents. By tomorrow, it will have been more than 48 hours since I’ve had contact with Liam. I miss him like crazy. I know I’ve already said that but I’m saying it again for emphasis.

Here’s a video of Liam rolling dice during Mike’s gaming session yesterday.

In case you didn’t know already, I love chocolate. If a nutritionist examined my chocolate intake they would probably conclude that I consume far more than I should. I love the stuff. However, I do tend to rely too much on store bought items and would really like to get into creating my own chocolate treats. This is a daring prospect for me considering cooking/baking really aren’t my forte. But, I figured with February being the chocolate treat month of the year, maybe I could start a new tradition and venture into new (potentially dangerous but lets think positive) territory. Once a month I’m going to bake a chocolate treat. Last week I found a great recipe for a Chocolate Earl Grey cake on Real Simple.com. It’s basically your traditional chocolate cake recipe with Early Grey tea mixed in. The sweet moist taste makes traditional icing unneccessary…just a little but of powdered sugar sprinkled on top makes it perfect. I fed it to our gaming group on Saturday night and I think it was a hit. Quite a few went back for seconds. Always a good sign.

You didn’t ask for it, but you’re getting it anyway. I don’t usually do New Year resolutions, but me and Carleen got talking about what we wanted out of this year, and resolutions just kind of popped in there. So here goes:

1. The first is a sort of joint resolution: We want to be more honest and open with each other. Not that we’re dishonest to each other, it’s just that sometimes we keep things to ourselves that really need to get out in the open.
2. Become a trans fat free household. I’ve weeded out most of the stuff but occasionally some things sneak in (like some bagels and an apple pie, most recently).
3. Eat more vegetables.
4. Find more ways to live “green”.

That’s it for me (so far) Meh. No big goals really, just some nit-picky things. I hope that’s a good thing. I’d like to think that that means I’m happy with who I am and don’t need to change much. Or it could mean I’m just not digging deep enough.

LATER: I missed one very important one: By July of this year, we will have moved or be in the process of moving to NY.

It’s been kind of a rough week. Poor Liam got his MMR shots last Monday and he seems to be showing some side affects. He’s had a low grade fever for the past few days. The fever is gone now but he’s broken out in a measle-like rash all over his face and chest. Apparently this is to be expected. We’re keeping him close to home now, trying our best to keep him cozy and comforted.

Liam is turning into the most curious little kid. Now that he’s walking, Mike and I take him for walks a lot to the park just up the street. What should be a five minute walk usually ends up being more like fifteen since he wants to stop and investigate pretty much everything. Acorns, leaves, dirt, dog poop, street lights. He’s also fascinating with curbs, walking on them, then walking back down. Anything new has to be experienced to its fullest potential.

My new nickname for Liam is Loki. Lord knows I’ve gone through many since he was born but I think this is the one that’s going to stick. Loki is the name of a Norse God (fire, trickster, he has many descriptions). Liam is cheeky in a very cunning way sometimes. I think the cheekyness is just a result of the fact that he’s getting smarter everyday. He’s learned to tease you and trick you. Like yesterday, Mike was crawling around the island in the kitchen playing a kind of peekaboo game with him. After two or three go’s of this, Liam figured out what he was doing and turned around, crawled back in the other direction and crept up behind Mike.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I just can’t believe it’s December already. I’m hoping to actually get xmas cards out this year. I’m kind of excited about this since I’ve been able to get back in touch with some old friends through Facebook.

Here’s a turkey shot. I’ve uploaded the rest to flickr. Mike made the turkey again this year, and again it was amazingly scrumptious.

Puke. That’s pretty much all I’ve done for the last six hours. I’ve often wondered why some people are more susceptible to stomach viruses than others. I can think of several cases where I’ve had to endure violent vomiting. I was put in the hospital when I was fifteen for violent vomiting and when I was college, I was in the emergency room twice for violent vomiting and severe abdominal pain. Apparently Mike can’t even remember the last time he had a stomach virus. Before he was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease he hadn’t ralphed since he was in elementary school. I think it must be a genetic thing because his mom has only puked once in her life. Apparently she was so horrified by the experience that she simply decided never to puke again. I envy these people. If there’s a stomach virus floating around, you’d be darn sure I’ll get. If there is food poisoned with salmonella somewhere in a restaurant, it will probably land on my plate first.

So, I’m home sick from work today. The worst of it seems to be over, although I still can’t seem to drink water without feeling quezzy so I’m holding back on all food and liquid intake for now. My stomach muscles hurt to much from last night, I really don’t want to puke again. To make things worse, Liam has had the sniffles since returning from New York. Damn those airplane cabins. Maybe that’s where I caught this, wouldn’t surprise me. Last night he hardly slept at all and Mike had to stay up with him while I was in the bathroom hugging the toilet bowl. But what is a slight sniffle for Liam is now a full blown head cold for Mike. I don’t want to go near Liam right now so I’m feeling pretty helpless. Mike just tried to get him down for a nap but it was a no go. We thought for sure, after the lack of sleep last night, he would surely go down for his morning nap. Surprisingly it’s just the opposite, he’s quite perky. Mike just took him for a walk in hopes that he might settle a little.

Sick days really aren’t real sick days when you have a kid. If it wasn’t for the fear of spreading germs, I would be at work right now because adults can at least understand that you’re not feeling well, whereas Liam has no clue why I won’t kiss his booboo better or play vroom vroom with the truck. Not only that, but it’s Friday. Who the hell wants to be home sick on a Friday.

This sucks. Seriously.

Despite all its glory, pregnancy and child bearing can really do a number on a womans body. Since having Liam, I often feel as though my body just isn’t as tough as it used to be. Like it can’t endure as much as it used to. I often have unexplained random pains in places. The skin on my face just looks so tired and patchy all the time. I go through these strange dizzy spells a lot. My eyesight is worse, I sit wearing my glasses on the couch and the subtitles of a movie still look blurry. Last week, many of these symptoms were really starting to annoy me so I decided to look some stuff up on the internet. Now, one of the most important rules you learn in library school is that you should always discourage a patron from trying to self-diagnose themselves according to what they read online. Unfortunately, I self-diagnose all the time and for a short period last week I was convinced I was dying from either a) Addison’s disease or b) a very rare form of cancer known as Adrenal cancer. In fact, the latter is so rare it only makes up 2% of cancer diagnoses each year. Rare or not, I was dying of it.

I was actually in hysterics for about a day over this. Dying before Liam was born wasn’t such a major big deal. We all die sometime. But the thought of dieing before I had seen my son grow into a adulthood was really getting to me. I managed to get into the doctor the next morning. I’ve switched doctors to a lady my dad often goes scuba diving with. She’s a character, sorta of looks like the sort that should be on a ranch in Wyoming ropin’ horses. As I started riddling off all my symptoms she stopped me half way and told me to slow down because she couldn’t write that fast. At that point, I realized what a hypochondriac I sounded like. She was very thorough, something which my dad had already indicated, and I appreciated that. She asked a bunch of questions back and eventually we got around to exercise. “Yes, I run.” “Outside?” “Yes.” “Hello, there it is. With the heat and all, you’re sweatin’ out potassium. Just eat a banana every morning.” So, I’m eating bananas and feeling much better.

However, I am still having some foot problems. There’s something going on with my heel. I called to make an appointment with the podiatrist yesterday but the secretary said that the earliest opening was October 23rd. That’s like a month away. I’m having problems walking here. I can’t wait a month. Can you believe in a town with an estimated forty thousand people, most of them over the age of fifty, we only have one podiatrist?

Mike and I have an ongoing argument about butter. I love butter. I’ll butter almost anything. Bread, potatoes, rice, steamed veggies. I also love to put butter on my sandwiches. I’m just not into the whole mustard and mayo thing, I never was. For instances, I’ll have a turkey sandwich with butter. I also love butter under my peanut butter when I have a peanut butter sandwich. This really gets Mike, he thinks it’s disgusting to put more butter where butter simply isn’t needed. I beg to differ. Peanut butter and butter are two separate things and one compliments the other perfectly in my opinion. Jam and butter on toast is another one that makes Mike scratch his head. It’s especially good if the bread is toasted and the butter is melted.

Do I have weird butter habits? Does anyone else out there put butter on their peanut butter sandwhich?

I’m trying once again to get back into Yoga. I’m taking a different approach this time: no set schedules, no set amounts per week. I’m just going to do yoga when I can and when I feel like it. Also, I’m going to start working out of a book Carleen has, called Yoga Mind Body & Spirit. It really goes into detail about Yoga in general, but also the asanas specifically. And that’s what I need right now is not to learn more poses, but to do the poses I know, better. After working with the book this morning, I’ll say, doing Yoga right feels a lot better than doing Yoga wrong.

I’ve started taking yoga classes. I had my first one today. I’m very sore. I’ve been wanting to do some sort of activity that involves getting away from home and work and I think this may hit the spot.

I took a few yoga classes in college and I’ve been wanting to take them again for awhile but unfortunately Bartlesville has yet to acquire any actual yoga studio, where they have classes throughout the week at different times of day. Apparently the YMCA has yoga classes but last I checked they called it “Stretching”. When I asked the receptionist about this she said in a hushed voice that the class never enticed people to take part when it was called yoga because of the whole “hindu thing” so they called it stretching and nobody knows the difference. Sometimes living in the bible belt makes me seriously moody.

We’re at week 2 of Massage Therapy as Career of the Week, so it seems to be sticking. I gave Carleen a 1+ hour full body massage last night. I used some techniques from a book I’ve been reading and discovered that massage cannot possibly be learned from a book. A lot of the techniques felt awkward, plus I had to use the kitchen table as a make-shift massage table which helped my back none too much.

I’ve been getting all kinds of catalogs from various schools in the Northeast and they all seem to have very good programs, we’ll just have to wait and see where Carleen can find a job. I’ve been thinking about the initial interview for admission into these schools and have been trying to answer the inevitable question: So why are you interested in massage therapy? You mean reasons beyond making $60+ for an hour’s worth of work? I still have no answers but some other issues did come up. First off, I tend to be less than comfortable touching other people - I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person. However, I’m certain with practice, I can break down that barrier. I want to break down that barrier, in fact. The other issue is that I also tend to respect people’s privacy, such that, I don’t ask people about their health - which is something that would need to be done in this profession. It seemes like most of the schools have that as part of their curriculum - teaching students how to aask questions and what questions to ask. So again, I feel like I can leap that hurdle. And sciences always came easy to me in school so Biology, Pathology, & Anatomy should be a breeze, I’m not terribly concerned about those.

So I almost thought I had gone into labor today. Ok, so that’s a very ungrammitcal sentence but basically what I mean is that I had a bunch of very intense false contractions all day that made me all anxious, thinking “this is it”. I went for a check-up on Wednesday and according to the doctor, I’m “one centimeter dilated” and the baby’s “head is done there real good”. I really like my doctor but sometimes I have a hard time interpreting what he says. He indicated that he didn’t think I would last until the due date because the “head is done there real good”. He proceeded to give me some vague instructions about how I should give them a call if my false contractions (which have been pretty consistent since last weekend) “stopped me in my tracks” or if my water broke (well, yeah, obviously). So, of course, I went home extremely excited, anticipating the possibility of having my baby earlier than orginally expected. Unfortunately, I think this has made me highly sensitive to all the new things happening to my body since reaching “full term” (ok, I swear, that’s the last time I’ll use bunny ears in this post).
The contractions I get have gotten much more intense but I don’t have any real pain, it’s just unbelievably uncomfortable. It really did get difficult to walk today, though. It almost felt like I had a bowling ball in my stomach. It got bad enough that I ended up calling my mom who told me to call the doctor but they really don’t want anything to do with you until you’re in active labor so the nurse just told me to call back when the contractions came regularly for four hours. So, my mom came down to the library to hang out with me which eased my anxiety a bit . At least I had someone to take me to the hospital if things got worse. We’re short staffed at work right now so I really didn’t want to have to ask any of my co-workers to have to leave their desk. Not only that, but it’s just nice to have a mom around during times like these. So, we timed them and they weren’t very regular. Sometimes they would be eight minutes apart, others fifteen, sometime even more than thirty.
By the time I got home and sat down on the couch, things started to relax quite a bit. I’m still get quite a bit of tightening when I stand up and walk around, but apparently this is a very common trait for false contractions. If it were real contractions, it wouldn’t matter whether I was standing or laying down, they would always be of the same intensity. Not to mention, I would probably be in a lot more pain. But this whole thing is tricky. Since it’s my first pregnancy, I really don’t know what I’m looking for. I think I have just as much potential to under-react as I do to over-react. At any rate, as nervous and anxious as I am, it’s exciting to think that in a matter of weeks, Mike and I are going to be parents of a bouncing baby boy. And let me just say, if his movements in my stomach are any indication of what he’ll be like as a child, he will be bouncing…

Incidently, it would be sort of cool if he was born on Monday. That happens to be Mike’s mom’s and sister’s birthday.

Well folks, it’s August. My official due date is August 29 but apparently I could go into labor anytime two weeks before or after that date. According to statistics, only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. I’m kind of hoping it’s sooner rather than later but I’m sure Liam’s got things under control in there and will make his arrival when he’s good and ready.
We got our air conditioner fixed yesterday. This makes me very happy. For the past few weeks we haven’t been able to keep our thermastat below eighty. For those of you not in the know, Oklahoma is experiencing a heat wave right now and temperatures outside are lingering in the high 90’s lower 100’s pretty much most of the day. I suppose it’s rather ironic that I was born in a heat wave and now it looks as though our baby will be too.
So, according to this handy dandy pregnancy calendar I found online, by Monday Liam will be approximately 6.3lbs and his lungs will be fully formed. During my last appointment with the doctor, Liam’s heart rate had slowed to 130 which scared me at first because that rate was significantly slower than usual but apparently this is exactly what is suppose to happen as they get bigger. My doctors appointments are more frequent now, every week actually and starting next week they’re going to start checking for signs of labor, contractions, all that good stuff. Scary. This has seriously snuck up on me a lot faster then I expected.

Mike and I went to visit our pediatrician last week and she seems like a very nice lady. Very laid back and actually has a sense of humor which is certainly a nice trait to have for a pediatrician. We also toured the maternity ward which impressed us a little more than we expected. They have some pretty tight security. All the exits have sensors on them. Upon admission, the mom and dad are given these security bracelets that match one that’s given to baby once it’s born. The only people who can get past the sensors at the exits are those where matching bracelets. So, as long as Mike and I manage to not loose our bracelets then we have no worries of some crazy nurse walking off with our child. They also have a bath tub that I can soak in for comfort and I’m also allowed to listen to my own cd’s during the delivery. I’m in the process of trying to put together a mixed cd right now. Which brings up an interesting question, what sort of music should a woman in labor listen too.

We’re having a kind of heat wave here right now. Actually, I think there’s pretty much a heat wave everywhere in this country at the moment. It’s been like this for three days. To make things worse, our air conditioning isn’t working properly. In some rooms it doesn’t even feel like there’s any cool air coming out at all. I feel cranky. My body feels pretty bloated and “thick” around the curves. Six weeks left. I hope this discomfort is short lived.
Turbo update: I believe he’s doing better. He gave me a little scare last night after he got sick a few times but he seems to be doing ok now, his appetite is still good, his personality is back although I sometimes find him to be more anxious then usual. This might have something to do with the steriods he’s on, I don’t know. As for his slipped disk, it doesn’t appear to be giving him any more problems. Despite his improvement, I still find myself being extremely paronoid about his health. I think I just worry that the steroids are masking his ailments to the point where when he comes off them, the same symptoms will come back. We’re slowly weening him off them now. I guess we’ll see what happens.
I’m definitely tired and worn out. Every small thing seems to take an extra amount of energy to accomplish now. It’s difficult to find a comfortable position at night so I don’t often sleep so well. Besides, Turbo’s heart medication makes him drink more which means I have to get up more often at night to let him out. I’m keeping up with yoga alright but I haven’t really managed a consistent regime of walking for awhile, especially now with this heat. Yeah, so…pregnancy is becoming a little more cumbersome here lately.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned on here yet, but I’ve spent most of the summer helping in the Local and Family History section of the library. I’ve really been enjoying myself there. It’s been a nice change of pace compared to reference. The questions are often much more interesting to work on (ie..can you help me open my email vs. can you help me research my native american ancestors). I spend a lot of time looking up obituaries in old newspapers. This can be a lot of fun since it often means coming across interesting stuff like this announcement about a young girl who apparently died…or did she:

“The fast girl who died of cocaine and was burried last Monday is now being dug back up. Someone says she isn’t dead”

The 1950’s are always neat to look through, especially all the fashion advertisements. I also came across an interesting opinion article one time:

WE, THE WOMEN by Ruth Millet

The young woman who tackels her first job when she’s just out of school usually develops a business like attitude without much trouble. From nine to five she is all business.
But the woman who gets her first business experience after being a housewife for a number of years often fails to develop a “business personality.”
She carries her “good neighbor” policy into the office-where it is entirely out of place.
She gossips across her typwriter, the same way she used to gossip across the back fence.
She carries on long personal telephone conversations the way she used to do at home after the breakfast dishes were finished.
She tells all her troubles and personal business to the people who work in the same office.
She gets chummy with the salesmen who want to do business with her firm, until she finds it hard to get rid of a caller without a long chat.
She encourages her friends to stop by the office and see her whenever they are in the neighborhood.
She never goes in for tailored neat clothes, but goes right on wearing the kind of clothes she used to wear to bridge parties and to church on Sunday.
None of those errors need to be, if a woman realizes that they are mistakes a woman not used to the business world, is likely to make.
And if she will compare her business manner and habits with those of the successful women around her, she can tell easily whether or not she has adapted herself to the business world.

Even though I was only there for a few weeks I thought it would be a good idea to join a Geneolgy listserve, just for the heck of it. They had an interesting discussion going on the other day about “strange” town names, like Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky. There was also apparently a local history published for a small town known as Climax. The book was titled, perhaps not so strategically, Climax: Before and After. Apparently it’s a real collectors item today. Then there was the Iowa newspaper announcement from 1964, when a young man and young girl, one from Manly, Iowa the other from Fertile united in marriage. The announcement read “Manly Man marries Fertile Girl”. Yeah, definitely had some good times in the Local and Family History section this summer.

I’ve been reading a lot of back issues of Baby Talk magazine lately, something I’m trying to do less and less of since it has a tendency to do weird things to me, such as convincing me that these retro styled monogrammed blankets are actually worth fifty bucks and that I wouldn’t be a proper mom unless I pulled out my already overused credit card and purchased one. As if Liam is really going to care whether he gets to puke his milk up on a trend setting item apparently being bought by our current star mommies like Gwyneth Paltrow. Anyway, one issue had this really interesting piece on the evolution of the magazine and how “expert” advice for pregnant/new moms has changed since WWII. Below are some examples…bizarre…

“Perhaps it should be a requirement of every wife that she hold at least one position outside the home before marriage. This is probably the only way she can realize the day-in and day-out grind her breadwinner knows” (September 1943)

“Pregnant you’ll look a real ‘5′ by 5″ unless you keep weight gain under 20 pounds. The tiniest junior miss figure blocks into a husky square.” (March 1953)

“When they form the habit of sitting on their knees…straighten their legs out, again and again, dozens of times a day if necessary. Continued sitting in such a position will deform their knees, flattening them.” (January, 1942)

“Many babies prefer to sleep with their ears folded like pink flower petals against their cheeks…On a bald-headed baby, narrow bands of adhesive tape will hold the ears securely down.” (January 1942)

“The trick is to look so altogether lovely, so perfectly exquisite, that your altered figure becomes just what it is-the mere ouward sign that you are having a baby.” (August 1942)

Although times have changed, things haven’t exactly gotten easier for women when it comes to pregnancy, especially in the area of body image. I found this article to be particularly revealing. Another article I came across on CNN awhile back claimed that with all the new Hollywood moms out there, it had now become “hip” to be pregnant. Sometimes it seems as though we are meant to view the swelling bump on our belly more as a fashion statement, rather than a glorious sign of coming motherhood. I think this creates a rather dangerous stigma. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that we now have fashions designed more to show off our pregnancy than to hide it like we used to. There’s just something happening in our society right now that I can’t quite put my finger on. We’re all health conscious…that’s for sure…and as a pregnant woman everyone’s main concern is obviously your health and that of the child’s. But, oddly enough, this hasn’t been my experience and people’s reactions when they see me don’t always reflect this notion completely. I think they mean for it to but their response comes out more to the tune of “You look good” or “You sure are getting bigger” or like the one I got today was, “You don’t even look like you’re due in three months”, which I’m not exactly sure is a good or bad thing.
This obviously has a lot to do with how sensitive a person is and I admitt, I have always been sensitive when it comes to remarks on my appearance, whether they be positive or negative. The more a person begins to comment on how I look, the more I begin to scrutinize over my appearance. This, of course, is nobody’s fault but merely a result of my own insecurities. Strangely enough, as this pregnancy has progressed, I have found myself becoming more and more comfortable with my body and I think I’ve even managed to deal with some of those image problems that I’ve probably always had but usually tossed aside as self absorbing nonesense. I’ve always been one of those people who tried to pretend I didn’t care about “thinness” and “prettiness” but like every other woman raised in the Western world, I would think about it constantly, secretly coming up with my own meal menu’s and excercise plans that I would play out as “just a simple healthy lifestyle”. The secret, I think, is when I realized that the look of my body wasn’t important. What was important was what my body could do. I need my body to be able to do things for me, provide me with stamina, joy, comfort, prevention from pain and illness. Thinness doesn’t necessarilly emcompass those things so why should I strive for it. Second, numbers need to be taken out of the equation. The only one who should be concerned with them is my doctor. My ideal body weight is whatever weight it’s at when I myself know that I am eating well and maintaining a healthy lifestlye. And lifestlye doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with excercise. It can but it doesn’t have to. It has more to do with doing things you enjoy.
There will definitely be some changes in my body after this baby is born. There will be all kinds of adjustments, emotional and physically that I’ll have to get used to. Some things will be bigger, some things smaller, saggier, whatever. If there is one thing that this pregnancy has definitely tought me, it’s that beauty isn’t meant to stay the same, it has stages like everything else in life. And I can honestly say that I don’t think I have every enjoyed a stage in my life as much as I’ve enjoyed this one.

However, the whole back and leg pain thing definitely makes me cranky.

Carleen just sent me a link to a website discussing this Diet for Crohn’s and Colitis sufferers (amongst other diseases). It’s called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet - SCD for short. Basically, from what I’ve gathered, this diet believes that both of these diseases are bacterial in nature (something that most doctors and specialists believe is NOT true) - specifically, that in your Gastrointestinal system there are lots of good bacteria, but also some bad ones. Crohn’s and Colitis happen when the bad bacteria start increasing and your body adjusts to the changing chemistry - effectively attacking your body in an attempt to be rid of the harmful bacteria.

So the SCD teaches us that we need to “starve out” the bad bacteria by not leaving them anything to eat. This involves cutting out complex carbohydrates, starches, complex sugars, etc. which your body has a difficult time digesting so that everything you eat is thoroughly digested and absorbed, so nothing is left over for the bad bacteria to eat.

I like the sound of this, and there is more and more evidence that “Probiotics” is the way to go when fighting Inflammatory Bowel Disorders - my only problem is that it’s a low fiber diet. Most doctors currently subscribe to the “high-fiber” diet plan, and this is what I’ve been going on. However, it’s obviously not working, so it’s time to try something different. Fiber just seems so good for you and with any IBD there is an increased risk of cancer, so taking lots of fiber seemed like a good way to go to try to prevent that.

SCD was created by a woman named Elaine Gottschall, who has degrees in biology, nutritional biochemistry, and cellular biology. Unfortunately, her work is largely dismissed by doctors and specialists. Taking a guess, I’d say it’s because it involves a simple plan of a change in diet. Pharmaceutical companies don’t like the sound of that - diseases like these are big money makers - most people have to be on pills most of their lives i.e. $$. Despite that, the SCD has quite a large grassroots movement.

Well, I’m going to give it a try - luckily it’s not like Macrobiotics where you need a complete cultural change to go on the diet, you simply have to cut out certain items and replace them with alternatives. Fruits and Vegetables are big on the list; as is meat, cheeses and homemade yogurt. Things to avoid include grains, flour (eek! that’s a tough one), sugars, and milk. I found that last bit about milk interesting as most cheeses (not processed) are fine on this diet. Then I read a bit about it on Mrs. Gottschall’s website. In her own words, “…in fact, butter and most respectable cheeses (not the processed) DO NOT CONTAIN LACTOSE.” That’s good to know - I had no idea - it must have something to do with the aging or process innvolved in making the cheese that uses up or destroys the lactose.

Anyway, if you have either of these diseases and normal treatment is not working, check this website out. I haven’t tried it yet, so I can’t make any kind of testimony, but I know how desperate people can get (I’ll be honest, the idea of completely removing my colon, the only known cure, has sounded qutie appealing a few times). It’s obvious the medical community is just going to push more and more dangerous drugs at us in order for us to live with the disease, rather than cure it. It’s about time we take our health in our own hands and find ways to reduce or maybe even eliminate drug use while still leading healthy happy lives.

[climbs off soap box]

I’ve been thinking about this post for some time (which does NOT guarantee that it will be any better quality than the crap I usually spit out when I actually take the time to write on this thing), and I’ve finally gotten around to writing it.

I’m going to be a Daddy. This is unbelievable news to me and I must say, I don’t think I could be happier. I’ve tried and failed at a lot of things, I’ve tried and succeeded at a few too. But there has always been one thing that I’ve known I would be good at, it’s being a Dad. I’ll be honest, I’ve cried at least twice already (happy tears) and I suspect there’ll be more.

I’m really at a loss for words, this is this single most happiest moment of my life and I don’t have the words to describe how I feel. Luckily, so far everyone has pretty much been very supportive as well as equally happy for us. I’ve heard several times in the past, people speaking to other pregnant couples about how expensive it is, how much sleep you lose, how little time you have and all that nonsense. It’s not that those people are wrong, in fact they’re probably woefully underexaggerating the difficulties of raising a child. However, I don’t think any parent would wish they could have that time, sleep or money back. I certainly won’t. I’m bringing a tiny little human being into this world and teaching it and protecting it and helping it to grow and whatever I may lose - I’ll gain so much more.

Now for the “Sad” part of this post - my ulcerative colitis. Man, I was doing so good. I found this stuff called Boswellia, which is actually just Frankenscense - which has been used for a while to help with arthritis and other inflammatory conditions and has been recently studied as a possible aid in dealing with colitis. It was working, until I went to the doctor for some muscle pain in my legs (something which is still bothering me for some reason) and he put me on Prednisone (a corticosteroid) now this stuff is also used to treat colitis, so I was stoked. Sure enough, that week I was on the steroids I was flying high, hadn’t been better in months. Until I got OFF the steroids, then I got worse than I’ve been in months. I’ve also started getting these sharp, crampy pains in my abdomen, which I hadn’t ever had before - these are starting to worry me as they’re coming with more frequency. It looks like I might have to go see my GI specialist soon. Another thing: I’ve been strangely cold lately, no matter how many sweaters I put on, I”m shivering. I’m wondering if maybe I’m lacking something in my diet (the other drug I’m taking, Asacol, also strips some nutrients from your body, but I can’t remember which one, it might have been either Zinc, or Iron).

Anyway, lots of conflicting emotions going on, but I’ll get myself better somehow. Want to be 100% when my little baby is born.

So, I’ve been going through a really bad chocolate craving this past week. For the hell of it, I decided to type “chocolate addiction” into google to see what kind of results I would get. Very interesting stuff. Did you know that chocolate apparently contains a small amount of cannabis? Of course, you would have to consume a rather large amount of chocolate in order to get stoned. Apparently, some guy decided to use this argument as his defense in court when his urine test came back positive for marijuana. There’s also some lady in Birmingham, England who survives on pretty much nothing but chocolate. That must get old. Switzerland apparently has the highest consumption of chocolate, 22 pounds of chocolate per person per year, twice that of the U.S. I also found this cute site called Chocolate and Zucchini that had a whole bunch of really cool recipes for chocolate deserts. Studies have found that dark chocolate is very good for the heart.

Ok, enough about chocolate. I’m getting another craving.

I’ve been seriously neglecting our blog. The library world has had my full attention for quite a while. But, I’m happy to say that the end is near. I have only two classes left. I’ll take one class this spring, take the summer off, then my last class in fall along with my comprehensive exam. Yes, I did say comprehensive as in I’ll have to spew two and a half years of information into four essays in six hours. From what I’ve been told, it’s suprisingly painless as long as you’ve kept up with the current trends and major issues. I guess we’ll see.
In other news, Mike and I have been discussing the prospect of having children. I’m a little nervous about this, especially since I still have major problems keeping our house plants alive. They always start dying on me about three weeks after I buy them. It’s a little embarrasing having all these dying plants all over the house so I usually just chuck’em and go to the store to buy more. Everytime I do this, I keep telling myself “now, you know, you’re not going to be able to do this with your kids, Carleen.” But at least my dogs are happy and well fed so, there is some hope. If all goes according to plan, I should be popping out our first one somewhere around Christmas next year.
The other new thing in my life recently is acupuncture. I’ve only gone twice so far and probably won’t go again until after Christmas but I am very pleased to say that this needle thing may actually be providing me with some relief to my back problems. I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t painful. I also have a really bad needle phobia so I was rather tense going in there anyway. During the first session she put needles in my lower back, behind my knees and then she tried to put a needle in the side of my ankles but the first one hurt so bad that she didn’t dare do the other one. Apparently that pressure point is in someway linked to my kidney’s. I then asked her whether it will normally hurt that much and she said no and then asked me whether I was currently feeling any fear or anxiety and I said, well, I am in graduate school which apparently was a good enough reason for her. I’m not going to pretend that I actually understand all this stuff but I will tell you that you do get results. On this particular occassion she left the needles in for about forty-five minutes. Once they’re in, they’re in, you don’t feel anything except this strange sort of warm feeling around where the needles are. Afterwards, I had this really weird euphoria sensation and felt really relaxed. I was pain free for most of that day although I suffered a rather nasty headache the next day. I had another treatment yesterday, however, this time she was kind enough to use the “needle-less” acupuncture which sort of feels like this strange prickly brush that vibrates as she moves it over all your differnt pressure points. Yesterday I was doing great. I woke up a little sore but most of today has been fine too. Very interesting and promising experience.
Fall is my favorite time of the year. Maybe it’s because there’s so many holidays back to back. There’s always a good excuse to eat chocolate in Fall. My mom is actually ordering some Norwegian chocolate from a store in Ballard, WA. I can’t wait to dig into that. I will share, of course, but you have to know the secret password. (shhhh…don’t tell anyone….the password is….laffy taffy).