Mike had to pull a half eaten baby rabbit from Turbo’s clenched jaws yesterday. This was a very traumatic experience for me. I realize that dogs are dogs and that hunting down and eating wild meat is simply bred into their nature, but why can’t he just stick to his Science Diet. It’s so much less bloody. Mike was actually on the phone wishing his dad Happy Father’s day when I noticed Turbo through the window, tiny Thumper feet hanging from his mouth. Without any particular plan in mind, I grabbed one of my shoes and ran out to do…something. But, by that time it was clear that the poor thing had departed from this world, I sighed and I contemplated just letting him eat the rest. Then I started thinking about the size of Turbo’s stomach and the size of said rabbit. He was eating it whole, kind of like a snake would. I worried that this might cause some sort of blockage in his stomach because surely, he doesn’t digest fur, does he?

It’s been storming off and on for almost two weeks now. Usually I love storms. I love listening to them, falling asleep to them. But unfortunately all the rain is causing a great deal of grief when it comes to our house, and belief it or not, my car. The house is flooding/dripping on two ends. My dad and Mike have been working on the corner flooding next to Liam’s room. After digging for a day they discovered that someone had drilled a who in the wall, which is probably where the majority of the rain was coming in. However, there still seems to be some leakage problems but they need to wait until everything dries properly before they seal it all. Meanwhile, it just keeps raining. Very annoying.

The sun room ceiling is still dripping, even after Mike and his dad spent days trying to seal up all the gaps. The car. Well, my car is always a mystery. It continues to be tempermental about starting. It died on me just before my massage therapy appointment last week. Not a good time to have a dead car. I was so looking forward to that massage, I was totally prepared to hike my way their in the heat. But the new mystery is that the trunk fills up with water after it rains and we can’t figure out where it all comes from since every “test” we’ve done on it seems to indicate that everything around the top of the trunk is sealed tight. I’ve had to chuck my spare tire because it got all rusty. Hopefully I won’t get a flat anytime soon because that would really suck.

New Liam words: bug, baking, honey (my heart melts when he says this), air conditioning (ok, so it doesn’t come out exactly like that but he has the syllables right).

New Liam challenge: getting him to sit down for dinner, eat dinner, show any interest whatsoever in dinner.

This weekend was Sun Fest. It’s like a craft/music/family entertainment festival they have in Bartlesville every summer. I’ve gone every year I’ve lived here (minus the few years I was in college). It’s grown a lot since I was in high school. The vendors used to be mainly country crafters but now there are potters, candle makers, horticulturists and artists of all kinds who attend trying to sell their stuff. I buy something every year, usually from my friend Jennifer and her mom. Jennifer makes delicious natural bath scrubs and soaps (I say delicious because some of them do contain coco) and her mom paints lovely flowers on pretty much anything she can get her hands on, mirrors, chests, tables. One year I bought an old vintage suitcase that I now use to store material. Hopefully one day I’ll use that material to make something extraordinary (must master that sewing machine).

They also had a dog show. Like, the cool type of dog show. They were all rescued dogs that had been trained to catch frisbee’s and do crazy stunts. Really made me want to go home and try some tricks with Chani and Turbo. They’ll sit and shake hands for a treat, and Chani used to be able to “find” treats when I hid them but it’s been awhile. I feel bad sometimes, I don’t feel like I spend enough time with my dogs. I look at Chani and remember what things were like when it was just me and her during the day (Mike would be asleep since he was working the night shift). Those were lazy days. Walk, play, watch a little t.v., play, read, walk again, dinner and then back to the couch again.

The weather’s getting hotter. There’s so much that needs to be done in our yard but the mosquito’s are awful right now. It looks like Liam has my sweet blood because they pick on him too. We try to spend as much time as we can with him outside, going early in the morning or later in the evening when it’s a little cooler. He’s discovered the monkey bars at the park now. He grabs a hold of the shortest bar and swings, then laughs, I guess at the tickly feeling it creates in his tummy.

So, my birthday is coming up next month. My birthday present is going to be a night to myself in a cabin in Osage Hills, and possible a kleen kanteen. We were going to get me a bike but it’s too expensive right now so we’re saving up, twenty-five dollars each pay check, until we have enough for two bikes and one of those canvas tents for Liam that attaches on to the side. I’m having serious hip problems and was recently told that I have to quit running. I’m having a really had time with this since running has been my “escape” exercise for some years now. I was never a very good runner. I could go a good distance but I don’t think I had very good form which is probably why I ended up with hip/back problems. One of my longterm goals was to run in a race but I never got around to it. I guess I’ll have to find a bike race to participate in now.

The weekend before my birthday we’re taking a trip upstate to see Mike’s parents and take part in a family reunion. I’m excited about this, Liam will have a chance to meet more family and that’s always a good thing. The sad part is that I have to come home on the following Monday (not enough vacation days) and Mike and Liam are going to remain in New York for about a week. This will be the first time I’ll be away from Liam for that length of time. It’s over a month away and I’m already dreading it but I’m excited too because it gives Mike more time to be back in his hometown and visit with his family and friends.

Which means he’s starting to do little boy/little kid stuff. He climbs things constantly. In fact, it’s rare his two feet remain on the ground because if they’re not climbing, they’re running somewhere and if he’s not doing that he’s on the floor trying to body slam the dogs, etc.

As Mike noted, we have started to potty train Liam. We’re doing it pretty informally for now, simply trying to introduce him to the contraption called “the toilet”, what it does, how to use it. He’s gone a total of four times now. He’s a very good student. But making him more aware of the potty process has also made him more observant about other methods, such as the way Turbo pee’s. It took awhile to figure out what Liam was doing when we went on walks in the afternoon and he’d stop short in the street to lift his leg against a nearby pole.

Somewhere I have counted all the words that he is saying now. “Ewww” is one of his favorites. We use it often to keep him from touching things that he isn’t supposed to, like trash can, trash on the ground while we’re on walks. He also uses the Norwegian word for bee (bie) to describe all insects including aunts and as we found out yesterday, spiders. He can also say most of his different body parts and many different sounds for different animals. He can also say mess. Not surprising since it tends to follow him around where ever he goes. I say that but have to mention that he’s also learning to “tidy”. For instance, one morning, early, just after we had all rolled out of bed, Liam walked into the t.v. room and noticed a plastic grocery bag on the floor. I had been organizing his old baby clothes the night before and used plastic bags to store them. I guess I left an empty one. After seeing the plastic bag, he promptly picked it up, walked into the kitchen, pushed open the door to the laundry room, and put the plastic bag in the bag where we keep grocery bags to be recycled, turned around, walked out of the laundry room, closed the door the best he could without jamming his little fingers, looked at us with a “why don’t you people pick-up after yourselves” look, and walked briskly back to his toys.

Cute things.

A few mornings ago, while I was staying overnight at my parents house, Liam woke me up by giving me a sloppy messy kiss on the lips. Putting Liam to bed at my parents is always tricky and more often than not, he ends up in bed with me, usually caddy-corner with both feet tucked tightly between my ribs. In any case, there was something special about this good morning kiss, something different. It occurred to me later what it was. My son was learning to show affection without encouragement, all on his own, without being goaded by some annoying adult.

Oddly enough, however, that same weekend there was another change in my son. Being displaced at my parents for a weekend is both enjoyable and stressful. Enjoyable because I get pampered and fed but stressful because Liam and I have to live out of duffle bags. Food has to be meticulously chosen and packed. A little of this in case he doesn’t like that, a little of that in case he isn’t in the mood for this…you get the picture. On this particular weekend I had to pack stuff twice. By Sunday I was in one of my “when will my life stop sucking so much” moods so I decided to lighten my spirits by taking my little one to the pond in his Rider wagon to feed the ducks. He loves his Rider wagon, calls it his “vroom vroom”. His grandpa decided to come with so off the three of us go to the pond. On the way Liam is pointing at the cars driving by, at the trees and the mailboxes, making his little ewok sounds, smiling, happy.

Unfortunately, during the trip back, Liam decided he didn’t want to ride in his wagon but wanted to walk. So we walked. Understandable. I mean, he’s just acquired the motor skills to be able to walk and run after spending the first year of his life sitting in contraptions with wheels so who can blame him for wanting to walk through a park. On the way, while getting a little over excited about something he saw, he accidently threw his sippy cup on the concrete pathway, popping it open so all the water spilled out. He had hardly drunk a drop of water from the sippy cup since leaving the house that day so I didn’t think this was a big deal but apparently, once he saw that the water from the cup was indeed gone, he decided he was thirsty. So thirsty in fact, that he started to cry and stomp away from the path in the opposite direction we needed to go. My father and I stared at him as he went, a little perplexed by his reaction, since Liam has usually been a pretty calm child, only throwing mild tantrums that were easily dealt with by simple diversion (look Liam, look at the birdies!). However, in this instance it seemed clear that it was going to take more than a makeshift noise maker to convince my child to walk the two mile hike back towards his grandparents house so my dad tried the ever reliable trusty pick child up, console child, place child on shoulders and say “Look! Liam is taller than everyone”.

Liam’s reaction to this was to vigorously shake his head and scream louder so we tried the wagon again. All of a sudden, out of nowhere my child started to grow additional limbs, possibly two heads, I’m not sure, all of them kicking, swinging and punching the air. It was around this time that a runner passed us by. I looked up and smiled trying my best “Happens all the time, just a spirited child, got it totally under control, completely know what I’m doing here. Really” look.

Then a thought crossed my mind, all this tantrum throwing must be making him hot so I took off his jacket and stood him up to see if he would walk again. Instead, he fell back on his butt and continued to cry so my dad picked him up and tried to hold on to him the best he could as we walked back to the house.

I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally made it back into the neighborhood and Liam was again walking, a crooked path, but walking and not crying anymore thankfully. We passed by a couple working in their yard and had a neighborly chat, got the usual coos and awes when Liam flashed his smile at them. We got to the corner of that street and things started to go down hill again. I don’ t recall exactly what got him started but it had something to do with not being able to go in the direction he wanted to, so, again with the extra limbs and heads flipping back and forth. My dad suggested I run back to the nice couple in the yard and ask them to fill up his sippy cup with water. So I sprint back and ask, trying not to sound like a desperate panicked mother, however, any attempt at this point seemed fruitless since I noticed my shirt was on inside out (navy shirt, white tag in the back…nice) and I think, not entirely sure, but I think my eye was starting to twitch. The nice couple quickly filled the sippy cup to the top and even include ice to make it nice and cool. I walked back towards Liam and Dad feeling proud. I felt like a hero. I had water. Things would be fine now. He drank a couple of sips but then something else upset him. Dad and I just kind of looked at each other, took a deep breath, picked him up and carried him the rest of the way home. A walk that normally would take about forty minutes tops ended up taking us nearly two hours.

And that’s kind of how it’s been for the past few weeks. Liam has entered a new phase. Mike and I have struggled a little with the adjustment, lost our tempers a little more than we would wish, however we’re taking it with stride. We’re delighted that he’s enjoying ball games and has gained the necessary motor skills to throw and kick balls, however, we’re not so delighted that he throws everything else he gets his hands on like, food, toys, phones and shoes. It’s complicated to explain to a eighteen month old that you can throw this but not that. He obviously finds throwing to be some kind of stress reliever because he also does it whenever he’s mad and is told he can’t do something. When my cousin, Jill, came to visit this morning with her two sons I took the opportunity to ask her advice on the throwing situation but the best she could give me was “duck”. She recalled that her son had gone through a similar stage but that, luckily, it was short-lived, so we’ll cross our fingers to that.

Email Subject: Dogs….Grrr

Next time Turbo gets himself stuck in the compost bin I’m leaving him there overnight, and MAYBE it’ll teach him a lesson. How he got in, I don’t know, I’ll have to check it out when it’s light tomorrow.

Liam’s fine, he’s head-banging on the couch.

I’m happy to say I finally have the chaotic family I always hoped for.

So, I’m home sick from work today. The worst of it seems to be over, although I still can’t seem to drink water without feeling quezzy so I’m holding back on all food and liquid intake for now. My stomach muscles hurt to much from last night, I really don’t want to puke again. To make things worse, Liam has had the sniffles since returning from New York. Damn those airplane cabins. Maybe that’s where I caught this, wouldn’t surprise me. Last night he hardly slept at all and Mike had to stay up with him while I was in the bathroom hugging the toilet bowl. But what is a slight sniffle for Liam is now a full blown head cold for Mike. I don’t want to go near Liam right now so I’m feeling pretty helpless. Mike just tried to get him down for a nap but it was a no go. We thought for sure, after the lack of sleep last night, he would surely go down for his morning nap. Surprisingly it’s just the opposite, he’s quite perky. Mike just took him for a walk in hopes that he might settle a little.

Sick days really aren’t real sick days when you have a kid. If it wasn’t for the fear of spreading germs, I would be at work right now because adults can at least understand that you’re not feeling well, whereas Liam has no clue why I won’t kiss his booboo better or play vroom vroom with the truck. Not only that, but it’s Friday. Who the hell wants to be home sick on a Friday.

This sucks. Seriously.

I often think about my childhood and compare it to what I imagine Liam’s will be like. Like all parents, I want Liam to have a childhood filled with happy memories similar to the ones that I have of my own. But having said that, I can not imagine every letting him roam as far away as we were allowed to roam when we were kids. All I can think about is all the sex offenders and nut jobs out there. I get so upset when I see all the young kids who come to the library after school, just waiting around for their parents to get off work. If you’re fourteen or fifteen, ok, maybe. But we had a kid who was ten at the library the other night. He was there until closing time. He had ridden his bike there. We close at nine. It’s dark outside. This kid was going to bike home. At the age of ten. Downtown. In the dark. Am I wrong to think that’s insane? I’ll get Liam a bike. Bikes are good, exercise, fresh air. Good. But until he’s about fifteen, I’m biking everywhere with him. What about all the crazy drivers out there, what if he gets hit by a car? I’m going with him, that’s all there is too it. That’s not crazy, is it?

Ok, it is crazy. In fact, there are plenty of studies out there indicating that “hyperprotective parenting” could leave children at risk for more anxiety. I mean, Liam will never want to go outside or go anywhere on his own if I’m constantly scaring him about the potential “boogy man” lingering on the street corner or all the crazed drivers behind the wheel. I really have no idea how I’m going to balance this because there are so many legitimate reasons to be scared to let my son out of my sight yet, I’m going to have to eventually. Then there’s the whole nature thing. Part of the reason I don’t like living in suburban neighborhoods is the whole “pretty garden” stuff. I mean, I like pretty gardens. I want some prettyness to my garden but I also want a yard where my child can play without having to worry about accidently trampling the petunias. I want a garden of potted plants. The rest just needs to be open space with green grass and trees. With a rocking chair on the front porch and a picket fence in front. Wait a minute, nevermind. I’m thinking of that country song.

Now that I’ve gotten myself all organized I guess I should blog about something interesting for once, and what could possibly be more interesting then my son. I’ve had some time to reflect on this past year, which has been full of changes both personal and professional. So far, I think Mike and I have it pretty good when it comes to finding the balance between work and home life. We’ve been doing the mom work full time, dad stay at home thing for about two months now. We’ve worked out a flexible schedule (note the emphasis on flexible). Liam still wakes up at night. I have a feeling this probably won’t change until he’s finally got all of his teeth. There are dozens of different schools of thought on this. Most people say he’s supposed to be sleeping through the night by now and that we shouldn’t respond to his crying/whines because this will help teach him to self-soothe and put himself back to sleep. Although there are times when Liam will wake-up and fuss himself back to sleep without any assistance, there are other nights when he simply won’t and needs help. Sometimes he just needs some rocking and a sip of water. Other times he needs a full bottle, especially here lately since he hasn’t been eating to well (probably a combination of teething and growth spurt). When nothing else works, we bring him into bed and co-sleep with him. Those nights are cozy, sometimes too cozy…for some reason he likes to sleep sideways so I usually end up with a foot in my ribs by morning. To help each other out, we rotate the night time responsibilities every two nights. That way we can ensure a few nights a week where one of us can sleep through the night without interruption.

I always come home for my lunches. Depending on how Liam’s nap schedule is, I’ll get at least forty minutes to see him before heading back to work. Mike will often email me throughout the day with short little updates. This helps since it makes me feel like I’m still participating in his daily routine even if I am at work. Most nights I get off at 5:30, drop my stuff at the door, change clothes and eat dinner. I have about three hours with Liam before his bed time routine starts. Most people might consider this a tiring task after eight hours on the job but it is honest to God the best way to unwind from work for me. I love it. I miss him so much throughout the day, I can hardly wait to get home and see him.

I think, maybe, the only time I have difficulty is on the weekends. Because I work all week, I feel a little guilty about taking time to do things for myself. I feel like I should be spending every waking moment I have with Liam. Not only that, but Mike has Liam all week. He needs his breaks too. Then of course, Mike and I need time together. There’s only two days in a weekend, it’s hard to fit all of that in. But all in all, I think we’re doing pretty darn good. If we could just keep our house from falling apart, we’d be in really good shape. I’m still trying to work on Mike with the whole yurt idea. I have a feeling I can swing him when he finds out that plumbing is completely optional.

I think Mike is about fed up with house stuff and I don’t blame him. If you’re on his Facebook you’ll note his status has been updated to “Mike is cursing his house to Hades”. When I was home for lunch he expressed the hope our house would catch on fire and burn down so we could collect on the insurance and be done with it, but then he realized how bloated the house was and that it would likely not even stay lit. So goes his luck.

This would be my husband at his wits end. If you know and care about my darling Mike, please send him some positive karma in the comments below or give him a sympathetic smile when you see him. My efforts are appreciated but I think he could do with a couple of more “hang in there’s” from friends. Meanwhile, I’m going to fantasize about living in a yurt and cross my fingers that my cold is gone by Monday.